first of all, i got a sting to speech here. say hi to the wise part of fleur, yay!
it’d be a mess if humans could control over time, right? there’d be no mistake, no regret, no valuable lessons – basically life would have no fun. before you could say any word, no i am not masochist. i didn’t remember saying suffering is great, right? directly and indirectly, no.
what i tried to say that life’d be more colorful if there was a dark side – not just a light side. mixture of dark and light colors are needed to make an artistic art. from the dark side of life, we learn how to respect people, their feelings and thoughts. as for me, i knew how people felt when they are forgotten or betrayed – and there are no one with them to comfort them – because i have experienced that. it was painful – and how i wished to end all of it, from that, i tried not to make people feel what i felt before, so they don’t feel what i felt when i was in depressed mode. ah, well, i know it’s hard to understand this, right now i’m having a hard time to pour down all my feelings and thoughts.
to answer the prompt – no. after thinking for a while and musing, i think i don’t want to change everything. let them be like that. Lord has plans for all His beloved children, no? so maybe, those embarassed, dreadful, shameful, terrible, awful, foolish moments of mine are part of His plans. who knows?