what’s this i don’t even know

morning seeking out,
but instead we prefer to
fold our wings, and wait for
them to automatically
thaw from sleep.

we head out.


so, um, dared by a friend. write seven facts about you! but she didn’t tell me which blog i should write, soooo.

  1. i’m a girl. alright, that’s universal fact. a student. that’s quite un-universal right? (is it a word?)
  2. i love literature. so do other people. hey, i am not told to give spesific fact!
  3. chocolate is life. anyway, i re-read all my posts and was all, is this me the one who wrote all of them? because believe it or not, i sound waaaay older than i should be. and my vocabulary isn’t so good. so is my grammar. rip english.
  4. a proud indonesian. alright, here’s the spesific fact! i began to love indonesia since i accidentally read a biography of founding father, Sukarno. yesh. that person.
  5. um, i’m learning russian now. just so you know.
  6. i’m thinking to learn latin as well. don’t make fun me. latin is dead language, but it is really useful when it comes to etymology.
  7. i hate stereotype.

anyway, i found this quote:

The best fate is to never be born, the second is to die early, and the last is to live long. (Soe Hok Gie, and yes, this is in Indonesian, translated randomly by me).

i don’t agree though. i want to live till, maybe sixty or something. but, alright, you have to agree that quote is really, really deep.

So, Christmas!

Christmas is the best holiday for me, ehe. It always amazes me, both physically and spiritually. Even though, Indonesia is the country populated by a lot of Moslems, but still.

Well! Christmas is only once a year, so do enjoy this one because from time to time, I’m sure it’ll be different!

And, oh. Do enjoy Home Alone. Lol. Every Christmas, there’s always a channel which runs the films from series 1-4 and I always watch them faithfully lololol.

Merry Christmas!
~fleur, 1224

flee’s rambling: just another day at school – ind

Jijay. Alay. Sok cari perhatian.

Itu yang kupikirkan kala menge-scroll daftar obrolan. Serius. Dia lebih muda dari saya, tapi kadar alaynya tinggi beudh. Ewh. Sok cari perhatian pula.

Mengerikan, itu yang kupikirkan. Berulang kali kuberusaha untuk meyakinkan diri dengan membisikkan berkali-kali; ia masih anak-anak, tingkat kestabilan emosi rendah, jadi maklumilah saja. Tapi hal ini tak bisa berlangsung dengan lama. Tidak bisa.

Dan, tanpa kusadari, perlahan-lahan kumulai merasa jijik dengannya.

Dia alay. Tukang modus, menyebalkan. Bisa saja kumasukkan seribu satu kata lainnya, namun dengan alasan kata tersebut tak senonoh, kupertahankan saja dalam hati.

Sungguh, benarkah orang-orang jaman sekarang begini? Seingatku, sewaktu umurku sebegitu, tak pernah aku se-alay itu di depan lawan jenis.

Kakak kelas pula.

Betapapun baiknya dia padaku.

Sungguh.

Terkadang, aku harus membuat catatan mental untuk memberinya ceramah mengenai ke-alay-an dan ke-centil-an dan sejenisnya.

Tapi ntar dikatain sok dewasa pula.

La-la-la, serba salah akunya.


Cinta itu rumit memang. Semua orang, tanpa mengenal waktu, tempat, bahkan usia, dapat jatuh cinta. Perasaan ini bahkan dapat membuat seseorang berubah kepribadian dalam kurun waktu kurang dari sehari. Mengerikan memang kedengarannya. Namun, itulah fakta.

Aku tak bisa mengatakan bahwa orang ini… sebut saja si A, jatuh cinta pada… si B. Kata ‘cinta’ di sini kedengaran sama sekali tak cocok, karena ‘cinta’ si A ini menurutku terdengar seperti obsesi selayaknya pada cinta pertama tiap-tiap orang. Sebutannya, apa ya… maniac mungkin kalau tak salah.

Dan menurutku si A ini terlalu belia untuk merasakan cinta yang sebenarnya… cinta yang tulus, yang hanya ingin membahagiakan tanpa memandang diri sendiri…

Lagipula si B sudah memiliki pacar.

Tapi si A berulang kali meyakinkan dirinya pada suatu kalimat: kalau memang jodoh? Semisal aku berjodoh dengan B, gimana?

Klise memang, tapi begitulah. Seperti yang kukatakan tadi, si A masih sangat belia untuk hal-hal ini. Ia sepertinya meyakini fakta bahwa cinta harus memiliki.

Jujur saja, mendengar hal-hal seperti ini sebenarnya tak membuatku jijik. Pikirku, toh wajar. Kita semua berada pada usia di mana hormon bereproduksi dengan gila-gilaan. Tapi dalam kasus dengan A… entah kenapa aku merasa merinding sekaligus jijik tiap kali ia mulai bercerita tentang ‘perasaannya’ pada si B.

Jujur saja.

Belum lagi… si A ini di pandanganku terlihat benar-benar alay. Dan aku benci orang alay, Ewh.

visions of future

I lost my appetite to this blog suddenly. So sorry, even though this is the 100th posts of this. I’m trying now to get it back but it is so hard. Because my mind already is set to think this is the biggest failure of my life.

Anyways, let’s leave that heavy sentence.

Daily Prompt discussed about adult things. According to my age, I suppose to be an adult now, um, pre-adult actually. But, my mom told be that I was such a childish for people around my age, so yeah. I’ll always stay as forever young, believe it or not.

As a pre-adult, I have planned my future. It is normal, isn’t it? People want their future to be the best. Planning about future-occupation, education, family, even child. It is completely normal. I even managed to make a list about my future, heh. Blame it on holidays and boredom.

So, start from future-occupation. Right now I haven’t any, to be honest. Well, I want to be a pianist, a writer, and a designer. Basically I want an occupation that doesn’t have to wake up in the morning too much <_< My parents want me to be an educator at university though.

Move to education. Not hard. I want to study in Germany, anyway >_> but I haven’t understood German, even its basic. I am completely a lazy-fat ass person. Universities in England are cool, so are in America. I guess, Harvard or Cambridge isn’t bad. Although my country’s national university isn’t too. Heheh.

Family? Child? Er, well, I haven’t thought too much in these sections. Because those three are too important to me. But, planning it right now sounds not bad.

For family, I want to marry around 24. As for child, huh, three? Yes, three sounds good.