what’s this i don’t even know

morning seeking out,
but instead we prefer to
fold our wings, and wait for
them to automatically
thaw from sleep.

we head out.


so, um, dared by a friend. write seven facts about you! but she didn’t tell me which blog i should write, soooo.

  1. i’m a girl. alright, that’s universal fact. a student. that’s quite un-universal right? (is it a word?)
  2. i love literature. so do other people. hey, i am not told to give spesific fact!
  3. chocolate is life. anyway, i re-read all my posts and was all, is this me the one who wrote all of them? because believe it or not, i sound waaaay older than i should be. and my vocabulary isn’t so good. so is my grammar. rip english.
  4. a proud indonesian. alright, here’s the spesific fact! i began to love indonesia since i accidentally read a biography of founding father, Sukarno. yesh. that person.
  5. um, i’m learning russian now. just so you know.
  6. i’m thinking to learn latin as well. don’t make fun me. latin is dead language, but it is really useful when it comes to etymology.
  7. i hate stereotype.

anyway, i found this quote:

The best fate is to never be born, the second is to die early, and the last is to live long. (Soe Hok Gie, and yes, this is in Indonesian, translated randomly by me).

i don’t agree though. i want to live till, maybe sixty or something. but, alright, you have to agree that quote is really, really deep.

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bunch of numbers, actually

can you believe if i say i’m older than you? or, younger than you? or even at the same age as you? who cares?

humans aren’t measured by their ages, but by their maturity, their knowledge, their experiments of life, the ways they think.

i can say that i’m twenty-two years old right now, but judging from how my writing style is, a lot of people will not believe my statement, for it’s invalid anyways – no way i’m 22 now.

when trains of mind

Asked my brother about what word should I repeat and he gave me train and eagle. Of all things in the world, why should it be “train” and “eagle”?! I hate you, bro.


when trains of mind
stopped, even an eagle now has
nowhere to fly – red sparks
flying everywhere;
and all we are aware just
pains pains all over

when trains of mind
stopped, even an eagle now has
nowhere to stay – green sparks
bursting out;
we receive it at the heart and
all we are aware just
a thought stating that:
you won’t see the
sun again

when trains of mind
stopped, even an eagle now has
died – yellow sparks
dancing in the night sky
silently saying
you are done
and with all the warmth
it has, whispering softly
– as the wind blows:
welcome home


Probably the worst I’ve ever created. Blame my bro for giving me hard words.

 

let’s moving forward

Sometimes I wish I’d never born.

Althea laughed bitterly when thinking about this. Yes, I wonder what’ll the world do without me – nothing, maybe. Because I’m such a trash, she thought, kicking some pebbles – to satisfy her heart because the best thing to do without hurting your friends when you were at your limit was to shed your pique, vexation, exacerbation on unliving things. Yes, it was the best thing to do.

The last time she shed her angriness to a living things – to Astrild – resulted the friendship between her and Astrild cracked. Fortunately Astrild wasn’t egoistical – no, Althea was the egoistical one – and she saved their precious five-years friendship.

Now, Althea didn’t want such a silly reason to crack her friendship again – once was enough. She had learnt her lesson – never ever shed your bitter side of emotion on human. Newton’s Third Law stated that if there was an action, there’d be a reaction. Althea gave bad action, and the reaction was same.

She looked up at the sky. The night sky was always peaceful, never judged her; the moon and the stars were the best listener she’d ever got. They were quiet to let her talk until she couldn’t mutter a single word anymore, they were quiet when the tears rolled down to her face, dropped at the ground. Didn’t mutter any comment, just silence. Yet, Althea always thought it was the best thing, at least she had the moon and the stars to listen her.

However, she couldn’t deny that somewhere at the bottom of her heart, she wished that she could be heard by human, a person, not just the moon and the stars. Sometimes she’d get bored to talk and what she got was no response. She needed that. To rant about her life to a person, to cry, to let out all her emotion… and get at least a response. Even though what she’d got was everything’s gonna be okay, just keep patient.

Althea sighed out loudly. The moon wasn’t at the top of her head anymore, but it slowly but surely sink down at the horizon. The stars were getting invisible too. Part of her heart was screaming to the sun to just wait longer because i wasn’t ready to face the morning but another part was saying quietly that she needs another fresh new morning to start over her life again – to get the real happiness she’d always been dreaming of.

She pressed her lips together, to make a thin smile. A new fresh morning sounded like the best idea. Maybe that was what she needed. Letting go of the past and facing the future with a bright smile.

Because, you couldn’t dwell on past forever, right?


for this nice challenge.

signed with lots of love,
fleur // june 27th, 2014.